Knifes and Wings
by drewray6
Summary: Destiel
1. Chapter 1

Dean Finds Castiel sitting alone, crying. He doesn't know that Cas was in a fight with another angel who decided to permanently blind him.

Castiel quickly wiped his tears away as he heard someone coming up behind him. "Dean is that you?". Dean stops a foot away behind Castiel. "Cas, are you crying?" Dean asks.

"What? No." Cas says.

"Cas, I can tell. I'm not stupid. What's up? Do I need to kick someone's ass?"

"Dean... Come sit with me..." Cas says. Dean comes around Cas, sits next to him and sighs. Cas lays his head on Dean's shoulder. "Dean... I..." Cas begins.

Dean wraps his right arm around Cas. "You, What?"

"Nothing." Cas stands up, but as soon as he tries to walk, he stumbles and falls, tripping over a raised floorboard. "Dammit, I forgot that was there..."

Dean gets up to help Cas, and outstretches his arm to help him up. "Cas, you've always been such a clumsy angel..." Dean looks above Cas' back as if remembering something and smiles.

"Y-yeah. Such a clumsy assbutt of an angel."

Dean looks back down at Cas and Dean's whole expression changes to worry. "Cas, what's wrong with you, man?"

"Nothing. I'm fine, Dean." Cas says quickly.

"You're obviously not." Dean says as he helps Cas off the ground, pat the dirt from Cas' back, and to sit down right beside him.

"Why would something be wrong?" Cas says shakily, nervous.

"For one thing, you're not even looking in my direction. Secondly, you're tripping on things you definitely should know are in your way..." Dean says, eyebrows scrunched trying to focus on Cas' eyes, but has no luck.

"I'm just clumsy, I guess..." Cas closes his eyes tightly, trying to withhold tears.

"Cas, you're a freaking angel of the lord. Shouldn't angels be all graceful and glorious and stuff...? Heck, they even say that God walks on water." Dean says, surely while wrapping his right arm around Cas' waist.

"You would think..." Cas replies, doubting his angelic ability.

"Cas, just tell me what's wrong." Dean presses worriedly, trying to search Cas' eyes for some sort of confirmation.

"If you can't tell, it doesn't matter. I can pass as okay." Cas says optimistically, looking down. Dean obviously knows its fake and grumbles. Dean drops his hand from Cas' waist and uses it motioning disapprovingly.

"That's bullshit, and you know it is." Dean says seriously, raising his voice a bit but not a lot to cause a ruckus.

"Let's just pretend I'm fine, okay?" Cas pleads, still looking at the ground.

Dean struggles to agree, but chooses to. "Fine," He pauses. "But if you do anything else that seems out of the ordinary for you, I will make you tell me."

"Okay..." Cas trails off.

Dean looks searches Cas' eyes one last time, and nods but more for his own confirmation.

"This is one of those awkward silences..." Cas says, obviously unaware of this confirmation.

"Agreed. Let's go find Sam." Dean says smiling, trying to pretend nothing is wrong with his angel.

Dean helps Cas into the kitchen with his hand once again wrapped around Cas's waist leading him. Meanwhile, Cas secretly wishes that someday he will see Deans pretty green eyes again. A second later, they find Sam making a delicious looking sandwich.

"Hey, Sammy." Dean Smiles, not making eye contact with Sam, but rather staring at Sam's sandwich and licking his lips.

"Hey Sam..." Cas says. Cas' eyes seem to stare at nothing, and his gaze is blank and unfocused pointing at the right side of Sam's head. "Hey, Cas..." Sam replies, smiling tiredly but trailing off to look at the space next to him and behind him. Finding nothing there, he looks at Cas and Dean, confusedly. Sam and Dean make eye contact, and Sam yawns but manages to mouth, eyebrows wrinkled, "What's wrong with him?"

Dean shrugs his shoulders and reply's mouthing, "I don't know. He won't tell me." Sam nods, still confused.

"So, Cas, anything new?" Sam asks eyebrows still wrinkled, trying but failing to get something out of Cas.

"No. Nothing." Cas says surely, appearing to still keep his non-gaze locked on the space next to Sam.

"Ok..." Sam says switching his attention to Dean. "So, I found out more on the Windigo in Chicago."

"Okay, so that's why you're so tired then," Dean nods confirming to himself, listening.

"Okay..." Cas says, chiming in. "Wait, there's a Windigo in Chicago? Did I miss something?" Cas asks confused.

"Yeah, Dean and went there a while ago and we didn't find anything. It's almost like they disappeared. I think you were doing heaven business then." Sam informs.

"Yeah, I guess so..." Cas says troubled.

"Cas, maybe you should get some rest." Dean says worriedly, but still eyeing Sam's sandwich as he reaches for the bread with his left hand because Deans right hand is still locked around Cas's waist.

"No. I'm fine." Cas stiffens.

"Cas, maybe Dean's right. You don't look right, and a matter of fact you're not LOOKING right. We don't want you working on a case you're not up for." Sam says looking up from his sandwich catching Deans lusty gaze upon his sandwich.

"No. no. I'm perfectly fine." Cas assures them, but his blank, unfocused stare says otherwise.

"Cas..." Dean sighs protesting, turning to face his damsel in distress. Sam walks around the steel table and leans against the front. From there you can tell that he's wearing Navy Blue plaid pajamas and a white V-neck, while holding a little less than half of whatever's left of his sandwich. Sam continues to look at Cas worriedly.

"What?" Cas asks, detecting the silence and feeling Dean and Sam's gaze loom over him.

"Cas, something is wrong, and it's driving me insane not knowing what's bothering you." Dean says slightly angered once again. Fidgeting with his red flannel shirt, Dean sighs deeply.

Cas finally gives in. He never wanted them to worry about him, they already have enough to worry about. "Well, for starters, I got into a fight with another Angel and I can't see, which is not pleasant." Cas says ashamed. It got quiet, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.

"An angel did this? I'm going to kick their ass." Dean cuts in, yelling this time and drops his hand from Cas's waist. Cas shudders but ignores the sudden rise in Deans voice

"And...?" Sam says, hoping to speed this along.

"And," Cas was getting scared by now. "I'm not getting my sight back. I'm blind." Cas swallows.

"Cas, we'll figure it out, we always do." Sam says hopeful.

"Sam, I admire your hope for the future. But sadly, my current situation is quite permanent. An Angels powers are qui-"

"I don't give a shit!" Deans cuts in again louder this time. "Another angel hurt you, and when they mess with you they mess with me. I'm going to shove an angel blade so far-"

"N-no. Dean, you don't understand. Angels are... too powerful. One of my brothers did this to me, and even Gabriel couldn't fix it." Cas says quietly, defeated. Cas tries to reach towards Dean but finds empty space as Dean backs away from him.

"This can't be happening." Dean says rubbing his eyes and looking down at the ground.

Cas starts to cry. "D-Dean..."

"NO CAS." Dean yells. "It's one thing after the other, we don't get a break do we, Sam?" Dean asks making it sound more like a statement more than a question. Dean stands up strait and you could tell that his anger is just beginning. Sam notices, swallows, and looks down at his black slippers.

"P-Please... don't... be mad..." Cas pleads.

Dean's anger rises more and he no longer hears Cas. "It's this and that, death and prophecy and shit. I can't take it!" Dean grabs the Mayonnaise and slams it onto the wall, exploding. Sam and Cas both flinch.

"Its fine, Dean." Sam says, swallowing.

"NO SAM." Dean yells. "Don't you see-"

"Dean! Just stop yelling!" Cas runs to Sam, who pulls him close. "He's scaring me, Sam. Make him stop yelling." Cas says, tears pooling.

Sam clenches his jaw and unclenches. "Dean, calm down. This isn't you."

After a moment, Dean realizes what he was doing, looks down at his arm, looks back at Cas and Sam, rushes away, and slams his bedroom door down the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

Angel Blade

"S-Sam…" Cas says looking back up at Sam.

Sam looks back down at Cas solemnly. "I'm so sorry, Cas." Sam's eyes sparkle apologetically. "Ever since we got rid of the Mark of Cain, his personality grew a little harder." He says looking down at the ground. "He still feels emotion, he's just, how do I say it? "Outta wack"." Sam says lost in his own thoughts. When Dean had the Mark of Cain, Dean developed anger issues. Every little thing would set him off. Dean couldn't even calmly hold a kitchen knife without the need to stab something. Now without the Mark, something inside the original Dean changed, it's almost like the Mark left a Mark on him.

"O-Okay." Cas says feeling into Sam's soul and see's the purity and honesty within. Personally, Cas thought that Sam was one of the most sympathetic men out of both of the Winchesters. Through everything, Sam still remained to be himself. Cas thought to himself, _Although Sam is Lucifer's vessel, it troubles me how such an evil being could be destined to possess such a pure hearted man._

Sam returns back to reality a few seconds later. Holding up an uneaten sandwich Sam says, "You want to try human food again?" Sam laughs trying to lighten the mood.

Cas turns towards Sam's direction scrunching his eyebrows, confused. "Didn't I tell you that Human foods tasted like-"

"Molecules." Sam finishes laughing.

"I'm going to go check on Dean…" Cas says confused as to why that would be funny.

Sam drops the sandwich back on the counter, turns around for a split second to grab a glass of milk and turns back around to see that Cas has already disappeared to Dean's room.

Outside Dean's wooden door, Cas stands in the bunker hallway ready to knock on Dean's door. After thirty seconds, Cas sighs and settles his hand to rest at his side. "D-Dean, Dean?" Cas lightly knocks on Dean's door and the door moves forward a bit displaying Dean's dark room, unlocked. Cas Silently prays to himself that Dean won't get mad at him if he enters the room, and proceeds to enter hoping he doesn't run into anything.

Dean is sprawled out on his bed with his shoes still attached to his feet. Cas moves forward and sits on the side of the bed thinking about how Dean was the man he loved, and that no matter what he will always love him. Although the angels looked down upon him for loving a human, he still would die for Dean over and over again. Dean meant the world to him.

Dean began to stir in his sleep probably from a nightmare, and Cas laid down beside him and began to sing a song Dean's mother sang to him when he was four. Dean quit stirring and reached out to the angel laying in his bed. Cas sat there entangled with Dean wondering how human sleep really worked. Cas was human for a little while and he slept, but he never had a dream so he never knew how it felt.

They laid there together for about fifteen minutes, until Dean woke startled hearing loud banging coming from the kitchen. Dean automatically reached for his hand gun underneath his pillow, and raced for the door. Before he could exit the room Cas somehow manages to grab Dean's arm. "Cas?" Dean asks, taken off guard.

"I don't want you to go alone, Dean." Cas says.

"No, Cas. You have no eyesight, and you can't fight. No way." Dean tries to focus on Cas's uneven gaze, hoping he understood. "The last thing I need is for you to be hurt." And with that, Dean takes off down the hallway towards the kitchen.

"Dean…" Cas says planted in his place.

Dean finds Sam pinned to the wall by another angel. "Sam!"

"Dean, look out!" Sam yells warning Dean.

Dean flashes himself around to see another angel coming up behind him, and preforms an uppercut knocking the angel off his feet, stunning him and knocking his Angel Blade a few feet away. Dean rushes toward Sam's attacker and pulls him back bringing him to the ground, punching him in the face repeatedly. Sam falls to the ground gasping for air.

As Dean continues to punch the angel, the angel's blade falls from his grip. Behind Dean, the angel that Dean previously stunned, rushes to grab the Angel Blade and before he can get to it Sam knocks him off his feet once again. As the angel that Dean was punching stayed on the ground, Dean grabs the angel blade and rushes toward the angel Sam has pinned to the ground, and stabs him. While Dean made sure that Sam was ok before they returned to kill the other angel, the remaining angel runs to grab the Angel Blade a few feet away. As Dean and Sam turned towards the other angel coming up behind them, the angel slammed the Blade into Dean's right side.

"Dean!" Sam yells as Dean drops to the ground, moaning in agony.

Hearing Sam's distress, Cas flashes himself into the kitchen, panicked. "Dean! What's going on?!"

"Cas!" Dean yells warning him.

Cas flashes to look behind him as his Angel Blade falls from his sleeve. Sensing his brother just a few feet away, Cas slams his blade into the angel's chest, killing him.

Sam rushes toward his brother and crouches down next to him, placing his hand over Dean's bloody ones, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Dean, what's going on?!" Cas says once again, panicked.

"I'll get the First Aid kit, where is it?" Sam asks Dean, worried sick. Dean points to the cupboard underneath the counter and moans incoherently. "Dean, don't try to talk. You've just been stabbed, try to save your energy." Sam says, as he makes his way toward the cupboard, and begins to dig for the First Aid.

"Stabbed…?" Cas sighs. "Dean, I can heal you."

Sam rushes back to Dean with the First Aid and opens it. "Cas get over here and heal him." Cas tries moving toward Dean blindly as Dean moans something that sounds like a No, and Sam looks back down at Dean, questioning. "Dean, stay with me." Sam says, pouring whiskey on the wound and trying to stich the wound to stop the bleeding.

"Sammy…" Dean breathes and passes out.


	3. Chapter 3

"Sam, please just let me handle this?" Cas says, looking down at Dean, looks up from the ground where he sits while helping Dean and swallows.

"He'll be ok, he just needs to rest. I'll have the stab wound stitched up and bandaged. I'm just going to carry him to his room and make sure he continues to be fine." Sam says while continuing to stitch up Dean's right side. "Now Cas, Dean is a very tough man. I've looked up to him for a very long time, and as far as I can tell, there's absolutely nothing he can't overcome." Sam says looking down at Dean while he finishes stitching up the wound. For a while there was a silence that filled the room that left Cas thinking to himself. If something ever happened to his Dean, he would never be able to live with himself. Cas felt responsible for Dean's wellbeing. Finally, the stressful silence left the room when Sam said, "Ok, let's get him to his room" as he motioned to pick up Dean.

"Here, I got him." Cas says to Sammy, motioning for Sam to lift and hand Dean to whether or not Cas can carry Dean without running into anything, Sam picks up his brother and hands Dean to Cas, easily. To Sam, Dean wasn't all that heavy. Over the years they got so used to carrying each other and doing such hard work as a hunter, that lifting someone's body weight was like lifting nothing at all.

"Alright," Sam gulps casually, "lets take him." Grabbing Cas's left shoulder, Sam leads Cas down the hallway to Dean's bedroom. Normally, Dean would have felt like nothing to him, but the weight of Dean being wounded made Dean feel like a million pounds heavier. Cas felt horrible because he could have prevented all of this from happening but he couldn't because he was blind and he couldn't fight back because of it. A single tear dropped from Castiel's face.

"Here." Sam says, signaling to Cas that they have reached the door to Dean's bedroom. "You want me to carry him now?"

"No. I got him." Cas says as he blinks the tears away.

"Ok. I'll just lead you into Dean's room, and then I'll leave you alone with him. Sound good?" Sam says and once again rests his hand on Cas's shoulder to guide him through the doorway. Sam knew that if he left Cas alone with Dean, Cas would heal him. Sam wanted to respect Dean's decision not to be healed, but they had to work to find out how to get Cas's eyesight back so they could have that extra man to help them with "hunter issues" or "O.M.G.T.W.I.G.E. (Oh My God The World Is Gonna End) issues", as Dean put it. At that thought Sam smiled. Dean had been in a good mood that day when he made that up, and he thought that part of the reason behind it was because of Cas. Cas brought him so much happiness when every single day they had lived gave them a reason not to be happy.

"Yes." Cas replied, trying not to quiver under Dean's body weight as Sam lead Cas to the right side of the bed. Cas tried to gently lay Dean down on the mattress without hurting him.

"Ok." Sam sighed straightening his shoulders while Cas tried to act like Dean paid no toll to him. "You good? Do you need anything? Are you sure you want to stay here with Dean alone?" Sam said while scrunching his eyebrows together. "Because I can stay if you want." Sam said gesturing to Dean.

Cas looked down and said, "I'm fine. I'm going to just lay here and make sure Dean stays...stable." Cas looked back up in Sam's direction and tried to make an attempt at a smile to rid Sammy of any doubtful thoughts. Cas didn't want to give Sam any ideas that might portray that Cas was falling apart from the inside out.

"If you need anything, let me know." Sam nodded in Dean's direction and looked at Cas who nodded in reply. "I'm gonna go to bed. It's 3 am. Goodnight, Cas." Sam smiled faintly, walked out the door, and shut the door behind him.

"Oh Dean…" Cas looked down again towards Dean's direction and put his palm lightly onto Dean's stab wound. "I know you didn't want me to heal you, but I can't live feeling like I've let you down…" Cas's hand brightened underneath Cas's palm, and Dean's wound healed. It ate at Cas knowing that when Dean woke up he could be mad at him for healing him, but knowing that Dean was ok was the best good news that had gotten all day.

Cas laid down next to Dean and silently sang to the rhythm of Dean's breathing, praying that everything was going to be somewhat normal when the sun rose in a few hours.


	4. Chapter 4

Blind In Love

Throughout the night, Cas's mind ran wild. After healing Dean, he found that using his angelic powers only made him weaker. Maybe the angel that took away his eyesight did something to slowly make him weaker until he was nothing but a man without his eyesight. He would never see Dean's eyes light up at the sight of apple pie or his beloved car, "Baby". That thought worried Castiel, however, the thought of being human again with Dean comforted him. He would age with Dean until he would die, just as all the humans, because Cas couldn't think of a life without him. Maybe his situation couldn't be that bad, right?

Cas felt Dean stir in his sleep, probably from a dream and curiosity overtook him. Cas couldn't see in reality but he could see Dean's dreams if he wanted to. Cas began to move his index and middle finger to touch Dean's forehead but stopped short. Would Dean appreciate Cas intruding his mind to look into his dreams? Of course not, but Cas really wanted to see something even if it wasn't real. Maybe there he could see Dean's sparkling green eyes again. Cas continued moving his fingers and rested them on Dean's forehead. His fingers weren't on Dean's forehead for long to make Cas quickly pull away. His cheeks began to flame red because what he saw was great and he felt hot tears slowly start to flow down his face onto the pillow below him. 'Would Dean still love me if I was permanently blind?' he thought to himself.

Cas laid there crying for a few more seconds and quickly wiped his tears away when he heard Sam coming down the hallway. "Cas, is Dean conscious yet?" Sam whispered as he slowly opened the door to keep it from creaking.

"No, he is not," Cas replied in his normally deep voice and quickly sat up in the bed quickly trying to cover the wet spots on the pillow below him. He didn't want Sam to worry too much about him. He was far less important than Dean.

Sam chuckled silently. "You don't know how to whisper, do you?" Sam said as he moved his way to the side of the bed to check on Dean's wound. Sam gently moved Dean's shirt up to check but discovered that the wound had completely healed mysteriously. Sam knew that what had happened wasn't that mysterious and glanced up at Cas disapprovingly. "Cas, you do remember that Dean told you not to heal him, right?"

Cas looked up at Sam with a nervous smile. "Sam..." he cleared his throat, "I couldn't have him in pain for who knows how long…" Cas glanced down. "After all, it is my duty to protect him," He swallowed as he was thinking of what would happen without his Dean.

Sam softened his expression. "Cas, I don't agree with Dean about you not healing him. I, too, want him to be okay but maybe Dean didn't want you healing him because we aren't sure how much that angel affected you yet. Maybe he didn't just blind you. Maybe it's best for you to not use your powers until we know the extent of what he did and how to deal with it, you know?" he explains.

And Cas knew that Sam was right. After all, he felt his powers slowly seep out of him every second. However, he didn't care about his weaknesses and how to fix them. He only cared about one weakness, and that weakness was Dean.


End file.
